Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A tag

My dear Aunt tagged me. I did the tag, as you can see below, evidently.
The tag is about that ‘four’ letter word. A lot of this depends on many aspects. I’ve just given general answers. My general answers, that is.
Go on. Read it.

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?

That depends. Anger and a dawning sense that I’d be better off without him, I guess.

2. What’s it that you see in an ideal partner?

Ideal? As in perfect? Well, I’d see if he were a truthful and a supportive person. And of course, a ready wit and a good sense of humor is a must.

3. What, according to you, is the perfect date?
Nah. Nothing as such.
But if I have to opine, maybe a movie together on a lazy afternoon. No. Not the theatre.

4. Would you like to have children soon enough? Or would you wait till your mid-thirties for the first child?
Mid-thirties? What the heck! I’m hardly into my twenties yet. Skip skip!
PS - I have a kid sister.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
I’ve seen the above happening quite frequently amongst my peer group.
I suppose it is a nice experience to know a person well and then be in love with them.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?

Either both or neither. Sorry. :|

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?

I hate waiting. Period.

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
Ha! I’d never like someone who’s already booked.

9. What do you think are the foundation stones of a good relationship?
The usual I guess. A strong bond of understanding between the two individuals involved and respect for each others’ space.

10. What according to you is the most beautiful thing about relationships or marriage?
The emotion that there is someone out there who cares for you. That someone out there will BE there for you. Someone whom you can rely on, with out being too obvious about it.

11. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Ten years? Hard to tell, at my age.

12. What’s your fear?

Betrayal. And ironically, commitment itself.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

A frank and witty person, with an ample amount of dry humor in her.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

Single and rich sounds good. And so does being married. And being poor. :|

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
Ah... this reminds me of the time when my friend asked if it is possible to fall in love with two people at the same time.
I forget what I replied to her.
Anyway, if I do happen to fall in love with two people at the same time, I’d weigh the pros and cons of having a relationship with each of them, and then make my choice. And stick to it, mind.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
That depends on many factors. The deeper the relationship, the more you tend to commit yourself to, or “give all”.

17. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
I’d forgive. But I’d never forget.

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

When you’re single, you put yourself on top of the list.
When you’re in a relationship, you think of others too. And not only the one whom you are involved with.
So, when you’re single, you can make your way ahead to the goal set with ease.
But when you’re single, you stay happy through out.
Did I answer the question?

19. Your all time favourite song. Only ONE. And why?

My choice of songs keeps changing. Only one? Na.

I tag all those on my blog.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Powder-puff girls?

Cartoons have, for loss of a better word, evolved, in a weird way.

I saw a small clipping of the “Power puff girls Z” just a few minutes ago... And, bleargh!
Whatever happened to the three cute girls?! Or sugar, spice and everything nice? Hmmm?
And Mojo Jojo looks more like a dim-witted monkey than a “villain” monkey.

It's sad, really. Richie rich seems to be one of the few cartoons which still remain the same.


Saturday, November 22, 2008


My sister’s school exhibition was held today. Just a little after noon, I took her to the school. It had rained in the late morning, so we couldn’t leave earlier. Unfortunately for us, the exhibits were dismantled and the classrooms closed by the time we arrived there. My sister didn’t mind it. Now, my pre-university college is in the same campus as her school. Same building if you want me to be more specific.

Sis : Lets go upstairs. I’ll show you my computer classroom!

Me : I know where it is.

‘Course I knew. It’s on the same floor as my classroom in 2nd PU. As I climbed the stairs behind the stage, I had a rush of mixed emotions. I expected them. But I still didn’t know how to deal with them.

At the landing of the third floor, straight ahead of me was, well, the loo. But just before that is the staff room. (It’s not as bad as you think.) To my immediate left is my classroom for the 2nd year. One of the non-teaching staff was cleaning out the staff room. She comes out.

Me : Isn’t anyone here?

The cleaner : None right now. They just left.

Me : Oh. Ok. Anyone in the labs? Sumana Mam?

The cleaner : Ah.. She must be there. Not sure.

I look at the newly fitted notice board on the wall. It’s filled with notices on the cricket team. Mostly. I smile.

I enter my classroom. The computer lab attendant is writing down the register numbers on the desks. I look around at the empty room. To me, it seems as if I’m actually IN it. At the moment, I’m in THAT moment. I smile again. I withdraw myself from the room.

Me : Come on. Lets go to the 4th floor.

Sis : I’ll show you my yoga class.

She runs up the stairs. I take my own time. I take the immediate right at the 4th floor landing.

Sis : Here. Come on.

She opens the second door on the right cautiously.

Sis : This is my yoga classroom!

Me : Hmmm.

I walk a few steps ahead. The most secluded spot in the college, just near my 1st year classroom. It was huge.That brought back many memories. We’d put up a bench-desk there outside. Or maybe it was already there. Saturday mornings were the best. We had classes from 12 then. Physics class. We used to arrive leisurely... sit there on that bench. Gossip. Talk. That corner was the best.

I stand there and text everyone telling them about my location. Mixed types of replies I got.

One even asked if I was pms-ing when I said I got nostalgic. :D

I walk towards the physics and chemistry lab. I stand at the center of the corridor and look ahead. Below me I can see the ground. In front of me on the third floor I can see the classrooms. Directly in my line of sight, on the other side, I can see indoor games room. I slightly look up.

The grey clouds. The wind. The light rain. JUST like how it was in those days, standing there outside our classroom.

The physics lab had a few students inside. I walk past it without looking in. My sister peeps.

Me : Don’t look inside like that!

Sis : You were asking about some teacher!

Me : Not HER!

The chemistry lab. Meera Mam is inside. So are a few students. I see that there’s no other lecturer. I walk a little ahead and stop. I can see inside of the lab. Students are working. I tuck my hands inside my jackets’ pockets and stand. The chem lab attendant comes from behind me. He recognizes me.

Him : How are you?

Me : Namskara Sir. Fine. Yourself?

*Tilts his head to his left and slightly closes his eyes. A gesture to be taken as “Everything fine here too”.

Him : How are things going for you?

Me : Great.

Him : You had come to the exhibition?

Me : Yes.

Him : Do have relatives studying here?

*I put my hand over my sisters’ shoulder and say,*

Me : Yes. My sister.

Him : Your sister? Own?

*I nod my head*

Him : Which standard?

Sis : I’m in third.

Him : Ok.

Me : Ok bye Sir.

I turn around.

*My sis spots an open door.*

Sis : That’s the terrace!

Me : Hmmm.

We climb down the stairs and reach the ground floor. I look around. I miss the place. It wasn’t much. But then again, maybe it was.

Memories. Lots of them.

The girls, the guys, the crushes, the tears, the bunking, the classes, the lecturers, the crushes again, all that. I miss it. A lot.


One of my friends said, “I swear that place still haunts me in my dreams”. I second his statement.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Life (2)

This must the nth time I’m asking this. But, what IS life? Those of you, who’ve read my blog since the beginning, know that this is one question that I keep popping up every now and then. This didn’t help either.

How do you know it when you love someone? Take your parents. It’s inherent in you to love them. The same is with your siblings and the rest of the family. Your pets... You coochie-coo your dog and what-not your cat. I wouldn’t know, coz you cant coochie-coo fish. But, you say that you love your dog/cat. You speak with affection whenever you speak of it. Why? Coz its ‘Oh so cute!’, or something like that? Hmmm?

When do you realise that one particular person is special in your life?
You OUGHT to watch the movies Before sunrise and Before sunset.
It’s not your everyday romantic flick. Two strangers, characters named Jesse and Celine, happen to meet on a train, en route from Budapest, Hungary, to Vienna, Austria (No, it is NOT your Hollywood ‘Jab we met’. Bah!). They spend an evening together and wait till the early hours of the next morning to say good bye.

They arrive at Vienna. They walk around and see places, all the time talking and exchanging their views on life, love, friendship, people, the society, you name it. And as the day dawns, they part ways without exchanging phone numbers or any contact details, promising to meet again in exactly six months at the same place.

Cut to nine years later.
Jesse Wallace is married and now a father. He’s a successful author of a book he wrote on the one night he spent with a French woman in Vienna. The opening scene is at a book store in Paris, France, where the story eventually unfolds. Celine chances upon his picture on the store calendar a month earlier and turns up at the time when he’s giving a little press conference on his book at the store. He sees her. They start walking to a cafĂ©. They start talking. He learns that she’s into Green Cross, an environmental organisation. They keep talking and realise how messed up their lives are. He tells her that he feels like he’s running a small nursery with someone whom he used to date. She says that men go out with her, then break up, and then THEY get married... later call to thank her for teaching them what love is and tell her that she taught them to care and respect women. She’s frustrated. She says that the concept of ‘the love of your life’ is absurd; the idea that we can only be complete with another person is evil.

You see that, even though the elapse of time is evident, their meeting each other nine years earlier and the time they spent with each other back then is fresh in their minds. The movie shows in a subtle, yet in a beautiful way, how you can never be sure if what you decide to do in life is right... how things once you miss in life are seemingly truly gone... how beautiful sometimes the ways of life are... how you never know who the right person is. The illogicality of certain notions in life...

Wonderful movies they are. My 'aunt-recommended-movie' movies.
I implore upon you to watch them. It’s a dialogue driven movie. You have to listen and understand. You tend to relate to it. You tend to draw parallels to it. The scripts for both the movies are superbly and thoughtfully written.

Jesse’s character is played by Ethan Hawke. Celine’s by Julie Delpy. Exceptional performance by them.
A must watch.

So, what is life again?

Monday, November 10, 2008

Us 'wimmen'

‘Women are prone to over analyzing. We think too much. In fact we think so much that we create entire imaginary scenarios revolving around minuscule actions. We look for hidden meanings. We relish mixed signals.
And... we praise the day text messaging was invented because that day marked a whole new way to over analyze a non-existent tone by way of texting.’

That, dear blog-visitors, was quoted by a good friend of mine over a text message. It is with her consent that I have used it here. Pretty nice, huh?

Being a girl myself, I tend to agree with that.
Final Destination 3 was on TV today and I couldn’t help but draw parallels to the character of the girl in the movie, wherein she looks for hidden but obvious clues in the photographs taken in the amusement park to escape death, to the ways of the mind of a normal girl in real life.
We do tend to assess too much of very little data. We tend to think way out of the box. We cross lines. And as Joey puts it, we are so far from the line that the line is a dot to us. (Sorry, but I HAD to put that in. =)) ). We have little patience. Oh no... don’t get us wrong. When and if there is a crisis, we’ll keep our cool. It’s the little things that boil us up. We struggle around in the quick sand knowing very well that it’s not of much use. We don’t care. As long as we try, we’re happy. We like individuality, much as we lean towards comparing ourselves with others. We aren’t dumb, though the PH’s of the society are an exception. We are good at words. We might be inclined to read through the book at the first go itself, but hey, we at least understand it.


Oh, and if you’re interested, the SCUM Manifesto. You might already have heard about it though.


Sunday, November 9, 2008


My department HOD is weird. If you think that she’ll help you out of your ‘tight’ spot, you’ll be proved wrong. If you think the contrary, again, you’ll be proved wrong. It's quite uncanny the way she does things. Or gets them done.

Like, the other day, before issuing the hall tickets for the coming exams, the word was that we had to buy stamps costing 5 INR if we wanted the hall tickets. Duh-uh! Few of us got it. Not me.
The best part? The stamp said ‘communal harmony’. HOW ironic. Only I got it. I laughed. A lot.

PS - If you didn’t get what I meant above, don’t worry. It’s a personal joke. You’re saner than me alright.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Arbit(rary) post 3

* Pretense aint a virtue.. It’s a flaw.. a slip-up.

Those were what I’d said a few months ago. But pretense at times becomes a necessity. When that happens, it becomes less of a rarity.

* I tell my Mom that I watched a movie on a transsexual on TV. The same evening I also tell her that the night before, I dreamt of witnessing a murder. She blames the movie which, FYI, I’d watched months ago. Oh, it’s Trans America, by the way.

* Ever watched the movies ‘Before sunrise’ and ‘Before sunset’? If not, go watch them.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

The parrot fortune teller

Picture courtesy : Another blog

I’ve always had a split mind on fortune telling. Like, take the daily horoscopes in the newspapers or on your TataSky. If you read them at the end of the day, you tend to relate to it, irrespective of the fact that it might NOT actually be so. On the contrary, if you read it before your day starts, you will not think twice about it. Rest assured, I read the horoscopes myself.

It so happened that today after college one of my friends spotted a parrot fortune teller and brought him over to his place. The fortune teller charged 21 INR per person. My friend went ahead first. The fortune teller took the cash and coaxed the bird out of its cage. The parrot trotted over to the set of cards, kept inside open booklets, placed before him and while the teller chanted something, it took off the cards one by one and laid them down, before taking one booklet aside and going back inside the cage. As the fortune teller spoke in the local language, I had to translate it. I don’t know if what he told about my friend was completely true or otherwise, but it was quite fascinating to listen to him. One of the girls went next. The parrot picked up a card like last time. The teller informed that her fortune was so huge that he would have to use shells (kinda like the conch, I have no idea what you call it in English) and then would have to read her palm to tell her fortune. And of course, that it would cost 250 INR. My friend refused to go ahead with it.

Next went another guy. Done with translating his, I too took out the cash from my wallet thinking, ‘What the heck! Lets give it a shot.’

Now, would you know! The parrot selected a booklet with NO cards in it. The guy was like, “Your fortune is too big and complicated to tell just by this. You too have to do it with the shells.”

I, being the ever suspicious girl that I am, say “What? You said the same thing to the other girl!”.
He replies, “She got a pack with full God cards. You have NO card in yours. The fortune telling will cost you 250 Rupees. It is a good day today. Try it out”.
I refuse. “250 Rupees is too much. “
“How much are you willing to pay?”.

He sees my hesitation.
He coaxes the parrot out again, shuffles the booklets and asks it pick one up again. Surprisingly, it AGAIN picked up the same one with no cards.
“You have the look and the glow of Goddess Lakshmi in your face. (Which, I think, he said just because of my complexion.) I can see that you are interested. You want to know. You have questions you need answers for. I can see things in your left eye. Don’t say no.”

Yeah right. Play around with my psyche and expect me NOT to go ahead with it? So, there I went. Shelling out 200 INR. I took the 9 shells he offered and threw them down three times. He then took a look at my hand and started talking fortune.
I got down to listening it, while translating snippets of it to my friend who was with me.

Now, even though most of it was general, I was mighty surprised about some of the stuff he said. They were entirely true, I tell you. If you know me well, you’d know that I am NOT a girl to be fooled easily...
True, he might have just asked the parrot using a code word or something to pick a booklet with no cards so that he could draw easy cash from me, but then, what he actually told me, made me think twice about the fortune telling stuff. Certain things he said were so damn true. He spoke for about 20-30 minutes. I was listening with deliberation.

At the end of the day, do I regret spending that cash? I was saving it for something, but no. I don’t entirely regret it. It was worth it. It could be my once in a life thing with a fortune teller. You never know!

Sunday, September 14, 2008


Change is a constant, agreed. It is inevitable too. It is the adaptation to the change that matters and not the change itself.

I am an introvert by nature. I do not talk to people I’m not accustomed with. Even if I do have a conversation, it’ll be more of a sentence or two, either with heavy sarcasm or pure sweetness, and with full stops at the end of the sentences on either of the cases. I do NOT indulge in small talk. I find it to be futile. I’d rather sit tight and let the others think I’m a real shy person with an IQ level so low that I cant frame sentences than start off with my flow of words and make them feel intimidated. The other party’s opinion wouldn’t matter to me since I wouldn’t actually know them. On the contrary, if I do know the person well, I let myself loose.

That’s what I am. Enough said about me.

Coming back to change, I find it a little harder than most others to let go of things. Material things are the last on my list here. I get so used to one particular system that I tend to not accept the change or an up gradation of the same. I find myself to be more comfortable with what had been earlier. It always seems so less of a work with what has gone. Because after a change, you need to start all over again. There’ll be the introduction part, then the getting to know and all that. Be it a person or a group or a system itself. In short, I take more time to adapt to a change.

I’ve always felt the same way. No matter how hard I try. Though, in certain situations, it HAS been pretty easy. Like, take the example of my degree. When the course started, I was new. BUT, so was everyone. I got to establish my self and lay to myself a better and a different foundation. It helped. Or rather its still helping. It’s the little things that matter more in my case. Small changes take me a lot more time getting accustomed to than the biggies.

Then again, as I say, its all in the perception. It’s the way you comprehend things.

What say?

Saturday, September 13, 2008


Yesterday, late evening.

*Mamma sitting on the couch. Me on the floor near her.*

Me : You know what, I’m suffering from PPD. (I give my loud laughter.)

Mamma : What?

Me : PPD. Paranoid Personality Disorder. (All my 32..er.. 28 teeth are seen.)

Mamma : What is that?

Me : Well, you know, I keep thinking about the worst possible thing that could happen. I’m always expecting the worst to occur. Paranoia.

*Dad sleeping inside. I ask him next.*

Me : Do you know what PPD is?

Dad : Production Planning Department. It’s an important department in a company.

*Mamma and myself both grin.*

Me : No no! Its Paranoid Personality Disorder. I have it.

Dad : Hmmm.

I read an article about PPD recently. I’ve always been a little on the paranoid side.

As the saying goes, ‘Hope for the best and plan for the worst’.

And to think I recommended Final Destination as THE movie to watch to a friend just hours ago.


That movie gives you the creeps.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


I use the FM feature in my cell phone to the fullest extent at night. Songs from the available stations continue to play right from around 2200 hours to 0700 hours the next morning. Till 0000 hours I keep changing stations. 0000 hours till 0100 hours I listen to 94.3. I later switch over to Indigo.

The night before last at around 0257 hours, I was woken up by the song ‘I still’ by BSB being played on Indigo. It had been a really long time since I’d actually heard that track from BSB’s previous album. It reminded me of my first year in college. My 1st PU.
BSB songs, the ones from the album ‘Never gone’ specifically, evoke one picture in my mind. The dark grey skies as seen from the 4th floor where our classroom back then was located. And the rain and wind too. It also brings back a kind of mood that I’ll try my best to describe here. Its something like a ‘mazed’ mind. I really am not able to elucidate it well. More like, a mystified yet at peace state of mind. Heck! I was barely 17 then! Those songs ALWAYS do bring that feeling in me. And that scene from outside our classroom. Lovely location that, you know? It was the airiest room ever. High above the rest. I miss that place.

But I still am not able to get over that response I get from myself whenever I listen to BSB.

It’s a nice feeling though.

Friday, August 1, 2008


Grey clouds roofed the vast sky. Winds at high speeds were directed in one course by the angry heavens above. The vicinity looked deserted till the horizon. No birds flew. The little vegetation present swayed silently as though there was a kind of absolute stillness in the chaotic atmosphere. The dark waters of the raging sea drew a contrast in color to the shimmering sand that bordered it. The blowing winds carried the whiff of the saline water.
The nymph stood in a graceful poise by the water such that the gushing waves thinned out at her feet. She held her hands against her chest with her fingers interlocked. Her long white gown rippled to the strong breeze, her dark hair not framing her delicate features. With her neck arched at an angle of self repose, she gazed at the thin horizon beyond the turbulent sea.
The heavy winds threatened to quaver her. The streaks of lightning and the claps of thunder fiercely promised to let the dark clouds open up. Specks of the frosty sea water cooled her fevered skin. Her brown eyes sparkled with an unusual fervor at the contemplation of what lay ahead.
She took her gaze off the waters and looked at the clouds above. The skies lit up with the increasingly continuous flashes of lightning. The winds billowed and howled. Yet she stood still, never altering her stance. Thick drops of rain water splattered on her face. The water washed away her silent tears, while a smile played on her lips.
The vicious weather swore to never cease, the sea to never let her down. And the nymph stood there for eternity.

Friday, July 25, 2008



What does one make of them? Pick on any one for that matter. The bond that you have with your parents. This one’s a pretty easy one. Its not that hard. Though its upto you to maintain it well, mostly. It doesn’t require much effort. It comes naturally.

What about the relationships that you share with a person/persons outside your family members? Be it your classmates or colleagues. THIS aint easy, is it now? Compromise, adaptation, acceptance and yes, endurance is required to sustain it and keep it from crumbling.

Thanks to that very good friend of mine, I’ve been listening to this far too many times.
The video is lame.
It’s a rip off of an Amr Diab number.

But it holds a special place for me.

(I’m not going to say “It holds a special place in my heart” and make it sound all corny. But then again, maybe I just did.)

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

A dedication

My parents made me listen to a track on the thinking patterns of the human mind. Mostly to do with positive thinking. Just like that. It was really good.

That brought back two memories.

One, when my Mamma had commented that I am a positive person a few years ago.
I don’t think she’d agree with her previous statement now.
Two, where one of my previously good friends kept urging me to read the book titled “The power of positive thinking”, which I still haven’t.

This post I dedicate to him.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Arbit(rary) post 2

Playing host isn’t easy. Playing the hosts’ daughter isn’t easy too. Even if its just your Aunt and your cousin. With my Mamma away for work, oh boy! I was dead tired at the end of the day. I mean it. I might have not helped around much, but I did my part well. I wonder how the Gellar girl did it. :P

Have you heard Chris Brown’s With You? It’s a peppy number. Every time I walk, I tend to do a “skip a little, hop a little” jig singing it.

1408 was a good movie. Going by Mr.Cusack, I’d give it 7 and a half skulls! :D
I next want to watch Silence of the lambs. Hope it’s available.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


Nearly a foot-long of my tresses went chop-chop today. It had been a year since I’d got a hair cut done. Before today, it reached below my waist. It now lies on my shoulders. I love it. The last time I had such short hair was in high school. Come to think of it, my hair was much shorter then. I think I look better now. In fact, I’m sure I look great!


All those who said that I’d never get my hair cut and those who said that I don’t look good, IN YOUR FACE!




6 year old shoots his 3 year old sister in the head.
WHAT has the world come to?

I again ask, any Reachers out there?


Try this...

Six year old shoots sister

Sunday, June 29, 2008


I just read "Popcorn" by Ben Elton. It was ok. Didnt like it much though.


Note to self : Though you may hate sem endings, you have a lot to look forward to.
Get a life, girl.

And puh-lease STOP cribbing.

Go on now.

Sunday, June 22, 2008


Cartoons have always captured the interest of the young, and the not-so young, courtesy my Grand Pa. My little sister sits in front of the telly right after she comes home from school and watches Chotta Bheem on CN. And later at around 5 Ben10 or something else. She reminds me of MY days as a primary school-goer. I used to come home myself at around 3:30 PM. I used to fling my bag on the chair, remove my shoes, without unbuckling them, mind, and sit down to watch Ninja Robots and Captain Planet. Power Zone, I think the time period was named.


I used to love those shows. Ninja Robots, especially. I had a huge crush on Joe. I thought the names “Mantis”, “Icelander”, “Cybertron” were cool. I used to watch them with my eyes popped out.

I still remember those days. When I see my kid sister, I sometimes see myself in her. Or rather, what I’d been doing in her age. There are, undoubtedly, huge differences. But still.

I found this on YouTube. I was nearly in tears watching it again after all these years. It made me feel real good, though.


Friday, June 20, 2008

The best season

Agnostic me

Dear God

I am doing quite well here these days. My thinking has become more coherent. I do believe that I am competent enough to encounter whatever is in store for me. I hope it all works well. There are times when I still feel a tad different. No, I no more feel like am losing my mind and going crazy. I think that I’m well past that stage where I weep, for me. I now know that I’ll just have to live with it. But the past hovers around me like a night shadow. I can’t get it off my back. Although, looking elsewhere helps all the time. I cried today. I cried today for no particular reason at all. The tears just rolled out. It felt good later. The best part was, though I wept fast and hard, I stopped just as soon. I dried my eyes and sat still for a long time. I sat and I thought. The road ahead is dark, illuminated only a few steps at a time. I drift about. I don’t look over my shoulder. I turn back completely and look. I might stray the wrong way. I might do so knowingly enough. I like to explore. I want to discover. The hidden, darker paths might mislead me, bring distress upon me, I care less. I know me. I know that I always end up on the right path. I ask for a chance to ascertain to myself on the ways of this life. I do not seek your guidance nor do I seek your assistance. I merely ask for your patience and support. Do not misread my words. I am already on my way. On my way ahead.


Thursday, June 19, 2008

One life to live

My dear mother apparently thought I was on the phone in the wee hours of the morning. She kinda freaked out. I told her that I understood how she felt.

I put myself in her place and my 7 year old sis in mine.

I’d react the same way too, I guess. Or maybe not. Seeing that I am me, and not my mother.

Anyway, lets assume that I thought right.(Assuming that I DO react like my mother)

I’d ask her,

- Why was she on a convo at that time. Shouldn’t she be sleeping? Huh?

- Who was she talking to? Her friend? A stranger?(Very unlikely) Or someone else?

- What was the need to talk right then?

- DOES she know the consequences of it?

Now, knowing my shrewd sis, she’d have all the answers to it.
(Unlike me, I stumble at words in real life, most of the time.)

Now lets assume that I thought wrong.

I’d ask her the same questions.
But the results would be quite adverse...

I told my mother about this. I also told her that it would be one life that my sis would live to enjoy. So, I’d let it be.

Anyway, that’s what I felt, speaking like a late teen, almost in her twenties.


Thursday, June 12, 2008


Today’s paper reported a suicide. “A 23 year old air hostess hanged herself on Saturday”. The paper reported that she had “everything going for her”. But she had filed an FIR with the police against her in-laws. The husband had harassed her more than once for dowry. The same story. Drunken husband, the beatings, all that.

But what struck me the most was this.

She had married her husband while she was still 18. Yes, 18. Apparently, she met him at a local mall and fell in love with him. The parents conceded after a while and the couple got happily married a few years back.

My point is this.

A mall? 18?

Tell me, do you even know what love is at that age? Sure, you’ll have your crushes and infatuations. You might like every other girl/guy. Think he/she is cute/cool/beautiful/hot/what-not. But are you ready for commitment? Oh yeah, wait, you don’t know what that word means. Try asking Chandler.

I’ve seen high school kids rant about their “love”. Which standard? 8th? 9th? 10th? This reminds me of that Kannada movie where a 10th std girl was depicted falling in love with a college guy( I may be quite mistaken, check the review). The two child artists (pardon the pun) apparently romanced on screen. And if your outlook is anywhere near mine, you’ll say “Duh!”. I’ve seen my friends babble on their high school “love”. I’ve politely listened to all that for about two years now. But seriously, am like “What? Get a life!. Dud!”

Teenagers saying “I love you!” all the time, to every other person. Bah!

Those words have to mean something when you say them. Truly mean something. Its like a binding, invisible contract, if I may say so. One of my good friend in one of his short stories talks about such a bond, made with the hands. I was quite happy to note that at least someone really gives true love some value.

Mind it.

Do not assume that I have no experience on such matters of my own. I’ve had my share of crushes and more. I might have stumbled once, but I picked myself up at the right time.

Running away, are we?

“Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism”

Life is no easy affair. It never is. You try to make it easy, no-can-do... it still defies you.

I have little respect for people who kill themselves. The death rate might go up. But hey! It’ll be down the next minute. Why does ANYONE want to kill themselves? Huh? Running away from things? Why though? ‘Cause they cant face ‘em? Again, why?

Fleeing from a situation is no solution. You have one life. You might get snuffed the next minute anyway, so why take the trouble? It’ll be hard. You may cry your eyes dry. You may rant and rave around madly. But at least you can still see if people heard you. If you died, you wouldn’t know. ‘Cause we don’t know about afterlife. :|

I’ve heard people say that they’ll die, and then the others will be happy.
I ask, so? You want them to be happy? Try other means, dud! Why do you want to make THEM happy anyway? Because you love them? Oh.. that’s weird.

I’ve also heard people say that if they die, it’ll teach the others a lesson and make them all weepy.
I ask again, so? Big deal! If you stay, you can teach them more “lessons”. :| And maybe make them weepy more than once.

Enjoy your life. Sure it’ll have its rainy days. But as the old lady in the classic, save up for that rainy day.

Running away is NEVER a solution.


PS - This from a girl who,

1. Ran away from home in standard 2nd, cause her Mamma scolded her. She went to the house maid’s place, who later brought
her back.
2. Walked back from school before the morning assembly without informing anyone in standard 4th, cause the class teacher had punished her since a few days before, for having lied. She had lied because she didn’t want to be caned.
Yeah, she didn’t want the cane on her.

PPS - Ask my Mom if you don’t believe me. She reads my blog too.


My exams are finally done. I had my EVS paper today. I did well.

I might be feverishly blogging for the next few weeks, or I might just be lax.

Either way, here’s my post after almost a month!


Cheers all.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

The little boy...

I take my kid sister to the local park occasionally. The park is situated quite close to my house. It’s the one next to the over bridge. The kids flock there everyday, though you might probably see more of them in the evenings. The elders do the usual “walk-in-the-park”. The park is half done actually. There is an open field in the center. The walking track runs along its perimeter. The swings, see-saws and the others are at one end. Lots of benches around.

On one such evening, I sat on the favorite bench of mine, located within the playing area. My sis went on to slide down the slide. I watched the other kids quarrelling over the swing. Time went by.
A smartly dressed little boy came and asked if the skipping rope on the bench was mine. I looked at it and said, “No. Not mine.” He said, “I’ll take it then”.

I replied, “You cant do that! It might be someone else’s. They might come for it later”.

A young girl came by and said that it was hers and took it away.

The little boy sat next to me.

“I have a comb”, he said. Taking it out, he brushed his wavy hair like he’d never done it before.

Now, this little guy spoke in half English and half Kannada.

“What you are doing?”, he asks. “Sending mail?”

Yours truly was messaging. I looked at him and said, “Yes”.

“To whom ya?”

“My friend”.

He puts his little hand over my shoulder. Me, being me, gives a start. I say to myself- God, Thej, he’s just a little boy.
I relax.

“I’ll also mail to my friend! You do ya, I’ll tell”.

“Er... ok”.

He dictates something childish and I pretend to “mail” it. He laughs in an animated way. I smile at him. He sits closer to me.
“Will you be my friend? I like making friends.”

“Hmmm .. ok”.
“Which standard are you in?”, I ask.


“Hmmm? Which school?”


“Oh.. ok.. Which subject do like?”

“Drawing! I draw nice.”

“Really? What do you like to draw?”

“I draw houses... nice houses!”
“I climb that and show you wait... “, so saying, he gets up and tries his hand at the alphabets or something.

I smile at him.

He comes back and sits on my other side. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

“With whom have you come here?”, I ask him.

“My Grandma. My Mom is not free. She does cleaning work at houses. Cleaning! Ha ha ha!”.

I just smile again.

His Granny comes by and asks him if he’ll come along. He replies that he’s with a friend and that he’ll come later.

“ He likes talking to elders. Don’t mind. He doesn’t like playing with the other kids much”, she says.

“Its ok... No problem!”, I assure her. “I’ll be on the corner bench, ok son?”, so saying, she leaves.

Patting my knee, he says enthusiastically, “You come to my home. I will show you my drawings. I got prize also!”

“Ha? Ok..”

“That road, go straight, take right, left there is my home. When will you come? Tomorrow?”

“I don’t know.. I’ll see.”

By this time, I message a few of my friends saying, “I am in a park and a little boy comes and puts his hand over my shoulder.”
One of them suggested that I punch him in the nose, to which I had to reply that the boy was in kindergarten. The other, who was not in station, called me pronto. I explained to him that the little boy was, well, little. I even made him talk to the boy. The few words the little guy spoke was “Ok... ok...”. My dear friend, content that it WAS indeed just a little boy, bade good bye to me.

His hand back on my shoulder, he asks, “Will you come to the park everyday? What time?”

“Around 5:30... around this time in the evening”.

“Come early ya... ok? I will also come.. we’ll sit and talk. Ok ya?”.

“I’ll try.. “

“You come to my home ya..”

The sky gets darker. Getting up, I take his hand and say, “Come, we’ll search for my sister.”

I find her with a group of kids, more or less of her own age, playing in the middle of the field. I tell her, “Stay here. I’ll leave him with his Granny and be back. Don’t go anywhere, alright?”.

My astute sis, “Who is he?”

“My friend”.

“Tch! Tell me .. who is he?!”

One of her friends exclaims, “Oh this boy!? He is my father’s friend too!”.

I say, “There! See, I told you he’s my friend.”.

“Come on.. “ , I tell him.

My sis and her friends tag along.

We walk around the park... He spots his Granny.

“Hope he dint give you trouble.”, she says.

“None at all... He talks a lot though!”.

I turn to him and say, “Bye bye!”.

I call out to my sis who lingers near the unknown boy. She asks yet again, “Who is he?”.

“I told you, he is a friend of mine.”.

“Tch!”, comes her reply.

The following two days, even though I went to the park and sat on the same bench for hours, the little boy dint turn up. I sat there, thinking about him. I thought of how free and out spoken he was... how easily he made me feel comfortable.
If you know me in real life, you might understand what I mean.

While typing out this blog entry, I texted my friend requesting him to search for the message I’d sent him nearly a month ago and to give me the exact date. He digs through the archives of my thousand odd messages to him and replies, “27th”.

So, it was on 27th of March.

I’ve been thinking of, for loss of a better word, penning this down for days. I finally did it.

Ironically, I dont remember his name.

A post


More like a note to self.

A few things have come out. And here I was thinking a confrontation was needed.

Have you ever felt like this? Even though you expect something, when that eventually comes/occurs, you cant take it in you. Its JUST way too hard. You expect something to happen, you know it will, but when it does, you are "torn".
Now that reminds me of Natalie Imbruglia's song Torn.


Try that. It was not embedded. So the link.

Pay attention to the lyrics.

Who am I kidding?

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Ah.. hello!

You're in control is there anywhere you wanna go?
You're in control is there anything you wanna know?
The future's for discovering.
The space in which we're traveling.

- Coldplay

I might have started boring you with this (iff you’ve read my previous posts, that is). But who cares! Get bored. Bah!

The recent turn of events in my life, have brought me back to the same question again. My purpose here? Or rather, what IS anybody’s purpose on this ‘planet’ that we call ‘earth’? Or on this humungous universe. Or whatever/wherever we are. If we actually ARE, that is. I’m starting to think that it’s all an illusion. But that’s not what I WANT to believe. But then again, there are very few things I actually believe in. I’ll prattle about that later.

I know that someday I’d be an... an.. Albert Einstein or a.. Rukmini Devi Arundale (People who know me in real life, go ahead, laugh. I am laughing too, anyway. :| ). Meaning that I’d someday be remembered through text books and more. Which is so very NOT likely. But so what?! Big deal! Bah!

What about the life that I’m living now? Questions without answers, you’d say. So? Look for some answers without questions, will ya dud?

I want to know what the heck am doing here. I’ve a good mind to stop everything that I’m doing right now and sit still for nearly 23 hours a day for a lifetime and see what happens. Apart from the obvious answers to that weird thought of mine, I’d appreciate a few logical, real, good, legible ones. (Legible? Yeah. You read it right. )

And no, it aint a paradox. :|


If you haven’t heard Alanis Morissette’s song Ironic, well it’s just too ironic that you haven’t.

It never fails to lift my mood up.


Sunday, April 20, 2008

That horrible huge zit!!!

What can I say?

The title says it all.


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

That four letter word.

It all started with this text message a certain friend sent me on a busy afternoon. “Everyone is an a**hole.” it said. To which I replied, “Nearly ALL guys are Casanovas.” She said she agreed with me, after looking up the word ‘Casanova’. That message of mine, forwarded to a common friend, resulted in my posting of this topic. One thought and opinion of ours led to another and it finally stopped at the issue of “Love”. I happened to remember a certain line from one of Bon Jovi’s hits and mulled over it. I later sent the following text message to quite a few people.

“Read carefully and answer.

Is true love blind? OR Is blind love true?”

The replies I got (very few responded) are as put in below. Names have been with held.

Miss.S1. - Some how true love is blind seems to be more fitting. But then, blind love can also be true na? Sometimes I feel love is crap. Total. It is painful.

Well, MissS1, that’s neither here nor there. :))

Mr.N. - I think love blinds truth. Whatever tht means. Tch tch.

A personal favourite of the replies I got. :)

Mr.P. - If there is love then no need to be blind.. because love is jst a feeling an it dnt ask fr anything else.

Ok. Now that reply is from a guy who tries to be philosophically funny. Guess you get it. If you dint, sorry. :))

Miss.S2. - Love is nt true n love cnt b blind.

Dear Miss.S2, how much that reply shows about your take on the concept of love.

Miss.A1. - Love doesn exit..

Knowing about you, I wouldn’t have expected any thing less. It shows your insecurity and distrust I guess. What say?

Mr.A1. - Both are one and the same.

No they aren’t!!! Aw... come on now!

Miss.P. - Blind luv true

I see.

Miss.A2. - I have no idea friend. Will ask *a certain girl who is apparently going around with a guy* n tell you. :-D


Spoken like a true Miss.A2!

Mr.S. - (After much urging) True love is blind..

Being the true romantic that you are, I accept it. In your case. :))

Mr.A2. - (After much urging here too) The first one.

Expected. :)

Well folks! That’s what a few people thought. I hope they got the difference between the two questions, if there is any. I hope you, my dear reader, got it too.

My take? Is true love blind? If you do not see the consequences before hand, I’d say, yes it is. Is blind love true? Well, so said Bon Jovi!!!


Neither I guess.




I hope either Luke bhaiya or Shailesh comment on this.


Toodles every one!

And yes, I know I always seem too vague in my posts.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Second tag!!!

Swat tagged me. Again! :P

A-Available?: What kind of a freaking flickling question is that?:)

B-Best friend(s): Either too many or none.

C-Cake or Pie: Cake. Pie. No cake. Pie. Cake. No pie. No no!

D-Drink(s) of choice: Does water count?

E-Essential thing used everyday: Apart from the obvious ones, “b.clean”. Though am running short of it, lately.

F-Favorite color: Purple. Dark purple. Anytime.

G-Gummi bears or worms: What is which? Or which is what?:)

H-Hometown: Right here.

I-Indulgence: Come again?

J-January or February: Feb of course! :D

K-Kids and names: Kids and silly, cute names go well with each uzzer. You know, baby, cutie pie, sweety, and all that.

L-Life is incomplete without: A lotta things.

M-Marriage date: On a rainy day, apparently.

N-Number of siblings: One kid sister.

O-Oranges or apples: I prefer the citrus variety.:)

P-Phobias: Ah. Many.:P

Q-Quote: Quote - unquote. Now, from which magazine is that?:)

R-Reason to smile: Well, what kinda smile is this referred to actually? Anyway, any reason will do I guess.:)

S-Season: Rainy. Cloudy.

T-Tag three people: Yeah right. Humour me. :P

U-Unknown fact about me: Let that stay unknown... for now, anyway. :)

V-Vegetable(S) you do not like: Like ‘em all!

W-Worst habit: My Mum would agree with this. Procrastinating. :|

X-rays you have had: Twice, as far as I remember. Once while I was wearing my braces and the second time was last year when I had a lil’ accident. Poor right foot. Er... ankle.

Y-Your favourite food: Chopped raw tomatoes + lemon + a pinch of pepper + a pinch of salt + finely chopped fresh green chillies + chaat masala, all mixed together! Deeelicious! :))

Z-Zodiac: An Aquarian. :)

Monday, March 24, 2008

An arbit(rary) post.

I looked up the word “arbit”. Turned out it doesn’t exist. But the word “arbitrary” does. Bah!

I just finished re-reading “You belong to me” and “Remember me” by Mary Higgins Clark. My Grand Pa has a showcase full of novels. Every author is in there. Lee Child, John Grisham, David Baldacci, Frederick Forsythe, Jack Higgins, James Hadley Chase, Nelson DeMille, Harry Patterson, Richard Patterson, Vince Flynn, Colin Forbes, you name it. I stand in front of those thousands of novels and I fail to decide on which to read. What gives? I go back to re-reading JKR. Bleh!

Why do I pretend to be dumb? I mean, I realised it when my dear Aunt pointed it out to me. I wonder why I do that. Heck! I know am smart! And maybe a little intimidating too! Muahahahaa! :D

Swat thought I was hibernating. Was I? My Mom reads my blog, Swat. Period. :P =))

=)) That smiley. I seem to be using that a lot lately. Though I still love this one “ :D “ . This one, “ :) “ can be real annoying. Prat showed me that. :|

I seem to be singing “Another day in Paradise” a lot these days. The same goes for “She will be loved” and Chantal-something’s version of “Leaving on a jet plane”. Weird me.

*All my BAGS are PAcked, am ready to goOO. Am STANding right, outside your doOR. I HATE to wake you UP To say good byEEE*


Do you ever talk to yourself? ‘Course you do. You do that all the time, don’t you? Don’t worry. I do it too. It kinda helps in sorting out the plentiful thoughts in your head.


For now, anyway.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

My first ever TAG! Yay!

Swat tagged me.. So here goes!

Ten Things You Wish You Could Say To People Right Now (names withheld) :

1) I really really feel sorry for you. But hey, its not my problem!

2) I want a chocolate!

3) You are sooo like.. you know..

4) Get lost. (I am with Swat on this one..)

5) Bah!

6) I know.

7) Don’t gape at girls like that. It’s indecent.(Am keeping this one too!! :D =)) )

8 ) I may not show it, but I really love you guys.

9) Stop yapping about yourself all the time. (Again ,seconded.)

10) Puh-lease. You don’t know the whole story yourself.

Nine Things About Yourself

1) I’m a very compromising person. I know I’ve said that a lotta times. But then again, hey!

2) I’d rather have me by myself.

3) I know am smart.

4) There’s this forward that keeps getting forwarded. “Never make someone a priority in your life, when you are just an option in theirs”. I seem to keep putting such people on top of my list. This has GOT to stop!

5) If I don’t speak out, it either means that I don’t want you to be intimidated by me or that I am intimidated.

6) I prefer reading a book to watching a movie.

7) I wish I’d keep my temper. More often, that is.

8 ) My lucky number is “ 8 “ . =))

9) I love my room!

Eight Ways To Win Your Heart

1) Be yourself. (Seconded)

2) Wit and humor! Matters a lot. (Double seconded). Yeah. You can be real funny. =))

3) DONT pretend to be smarter than me. You’ll only make yourself more dumber.

4) Don’t give me a chocolate as a first gesture.

5) Dress sensibly! NOT “branded-ly”!

6) Your looks don’t matter. Forget about it.

7) Be the first to talk. I don’t usually talk much. :|

8) My lucky number again! :D LOL! =))

[ There is a difference between the 5th and the 6th , yes! ]

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot

1) The purpose of my life? Huh?

2) Family.

3) I really should get up more early.

4) What AM I gonna do after these two years or so?

5) Friends.

6) What’s with her/him?! =))

7) Try being an extrovert.

Six Things You Wish You Never Did

1) Wish I hadn’t grown my hair this long.

2) I wish I didnt stay mum when people really expected me to speak up. (Seconded)

3) I wish I never gave someone so much place in my life. (Seconded)

4) Wish I’d never forgotten to take that English book in my 4th standard. Things would have been a lot better then. :((

5) Wish I’d not lost my senses.

6) Wish I’d never spoken up before thinking right.

Five Turn-Off’s

1) Swearing in every sentence, thinking that it’s cool to do so. (Seconded)

2) Show-off guys on bikes are a huge turn-off. (Seconded). Yep. Guys. *shakes her head*

3) Wrong attitude.

4) Egoism.(Seconded) And sarcasm.

5) People who have “use- and- throw” attitude towards others. (Seconded) Ah well.. I just agree with Swat! :D

Four Turn-On’s

1) Wit and humor. Be real funny!! :D

2) Humility.

3) Acceptance.

4) Good grammar. =)) Ok. I was joking. :D

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die

1) Take my family to Egypt.

2) Make sure that my sis ends up well in life.

3) Be successful. In everything. All the ventures.

Two Smileys that Describe You

1) :D

2) :P

One Confession

Only one? =)) Bwahahahaha! :D

PS - I seem to have used the word “Seconded” a lot. It just means that I agreed with Swat.

Ta-ta for now!

Am not tagging anyone.


Saturday, February 23, 2008


Wonder La.


Just an entry to keep reminding myself of the wonderful and hilarious time we had there.


Thursday, February 14, 2008


College life. If you were to give it a single name, or rather, describe it with an adjective, what would it be? I cant think of any. :| I’ve met an assortment of people, portraying different personas in my degree college. Here are a few of ‘em. Mind, they are in no particular order.

Libby - Sits right in the front, right beside the door. Handy for a quick escape. She’s ok. :P

- Juvenile.

Febina - One of the first girls who spoke to me. I still remember her extending out her hand and introducing herself. Now, every other time she sees me, gives me a hug and a peck on my check.

- Innocent, apparently.

Aditya - Sits next to the window. Not so handy for a quick escape. Thinks I dominate him, like whatever that means. :|

- Bah!

Elluru - Shilpa. She likes swapping “buzz”. Tags Bisha like, forever.

- Vulnerable.

Bisha - Another front bencher. A real funny girl. Loves to have fun. Plays "Mamma" for us sometimes. =))

- Double juvenile.

Shubham - A nice guy.Tries to be real funny. Succeeds a few times. But I like him. Period. He and Ankit share a flat, where I hope to cook sometime. =)

- Irritable, but likable also.

Ankit - Labeled as the “Class Flirt”. A real nice guy. Always a ready smile on his face. Aids Shubham on his spree of irritating us all.

- Funny.

Smitha - One girl who’s quite hard to understand. ‘Nough said.

- Perplexing.

Pandu - Oye Pandu! :D A guy who minds his stuff. I forget that bag of his. :D And yeah, a great dancer!!! =))

- Oye!

Akshay - The CR. I emphasize that a lot.. and a lot of times. :P Vibes, is what I get. *shudders*

- Quiet.

Soumya - Another of my good friends. Keeps reminding me to wear my shades. Er.. my spectacles. :P :|

- Trusty.

Viju - Sticks to the point. I like that.

- :)

Barsha - Dresses like a tomboy. Might even be one. I do like her, though. :)

- Friendly enough.

Priya - :D Speaks out. Bunks every other math class. Bah! Bunks every other class.

- Nice. =))

Shalu - A really really quiet girl. Shhh.. don’t talk. I cant hear her talking.

- An ideal student.

Mishra - Ashwani. Plays a lot of pranks on the others. I call him by his surname. Be wary of your cell phone!

- Mishra bhai! :)

Aakash - Known him for more than 2 years now. We don’t talk about our different pasts.

- A not-lost friend.

Ramya - I want to be as tall as her! :( A girl who shares my thoughts, most of the time, anyway.

- Tall!!!

Kishen - A sportsman. Like, into sports.

- Umm..

Akash - The laugh riot of the class, if I may say so. His smile makes you think of all silly things. Played volleyball grinning.

- LOL!

All of them are really really really good. I love them all.

I know I’ve missed out on most of you guys ( Like you’ll ever read this). But hey! I might remember you like, forever.