Do we ever really?

Every post of mine in the recent times seems to promise regular writing. Hasn't happened yet. And as usual, I was going through some earlier posts of mine and I yet again observed that I'm pretty much the same, even now. My thoughts, beliefs, ideas, perception, outlook, everything still remain the same, albeit a little more evolved. Change is surely a constant. But do we, as people, as individuals, ever really change? I think not. We adapt, yes. I see my blog's tagline and it amazes me a little that I came up with that years ago. Am I giving myself lesser credit? I don't know. I never cease to amaze myself, I guess. Heh.

So, do we ever really change?

The generations

I entered middle school listening to Backstreet Boys and Boyzone. I still remember sneaking to the hall and watching Nick Carter in the video of Quit playing games with my heart over my Aunt’s shoulder. My kid sister, now, starts jumping about to Coldplay’s Lost and Alanis Morissette’s Ironic.

What can you say? The changing generations. Also, the BSB were way cooler and a hell lot better than the Bieber kid.

Innocence

Every minute that passes by brings in some change in you. Humans inherently have an adaptive nature. You tend to become accustomed to the change you never wanted. These changes later manifest themselves as an amendment of your character or conduct. You look back at yourself and find that you are amazed at far you’ve come, or how far you’ve gone. That of course, is subjective. Let the change in you be such that you will have no uncertainties. Evolve in a manner that will give you a fresh and a better perspective. Be virtuous. Preserve the innocence in you.

The world can thus be a better place.

Amen to that.

Nothingness

The days go slow into a void.

THAT was seen written on the back of the T-shirt of a construction worker near my house. The first time I saw it, I instantly thought of writing a piece on it. Just today I saw that guy the second time with the quote on his back and here I am.

The days pass by ever so quickly when you least expect them to or when you don’t want them to. You think you have lots of time and lo! you’re already looking at your deadline.

Time flies by is an old saying. The one that I’ve mentioned here is different. The pace is seemingly unhurried. As the days pass by, you get older. You change. And so does everything around you. What happens at the end of each day anyway? Nothing. Another day commences. The previous day is no more. The same is with months and years and centuries and what not. What happens after you die? Oblivion.
They say ignorance is bliss. I’d say oblivion is bliss.

The days go slow into a void. I really am NOT able to express my point of view on that confrontational quote. It’s just too awe-inspiring.

Change

Change is a constant, agreed. It is inevitable too. It is the adaptation to the change that matters and not the change itself.

I am an introvert by nature. I do not talk to people I’m not accustomed with. Even if I do have a conversation, it’ll be more of a sentence or two, either with heavy sarcasm or pure sweetness, and with full stops at the end of the sentences on either of the cases. I do NOT indulge in small talk. I find it to be futile. I’d rather sit tight and let the others think I’m a real shy person with an IQ level so low that I cant frame sentences than start off with my flow of words and make them feel intimidated. The other party’s opinion wouldn’t matter to me since I wouldn’t actually know them. On the contrary, if I do know the person well, I let myself loose.

That’s what I am. Enough said about me.

Coming back to change, I find it a little harder than most others to let go of things. Material things are the last on my list here. I get so used to one particular system that I tend to not accept the change or an up gradation of the same. I find myself to be more comfortable with what had been earlier. It always seems so less of a work with what has gone. Because after a change, you need to start all over again. There’ll be the introduction part, then the getting to know and all that. Be it a person or a group or a system itself. In short, I take more time to adapt to a change.

I’ve always felt the same way. No matter how hard I try. Though, in certain situations, it HAS been pretty easy. Like, take the example of my degree. When the course started, I was new. BUT, so was everyone. I got to establish my self and lay to myself a better and a different foundation. It helped. Or rather its still helping. It’s the little things that matter more in my case. Small changes take me a lot more time getting accustomed to than the biggies.

Then again, as I say, its all in the perception. It’s the way you comprehend things.

What say?

PPD

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Yesterday, late evening.

*Mamma sitting on the couch. Me on the floor near her.*

Me : You know what, I’m suffering from PPD. (I give my loud laughter.)

Mamma : What?

Me : PPD. Paranoid Personality Disorder. (All my 32..er.. 28 teeth are seen.)

Mamma : What is that?

Me : Well, you know, I keep thinking about the worst possible thing that could happen. I’m always expecting the worst to occur. Paranoia.

*Dad sleeping inside. I ask him next.*

Me : Do you know what PPD is?

Dad : Production Planning Department. It’s an important department in a company.

*Mamma and myself both grin.*

Me : No no! Its Paranoid Personality Disorder. I have it.

Dad : Hmmm.
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I read an article about PPD recently. I’ve always been a little on the paranoid side.

As the saying goes, ‘Hope for the best and plan for the worst’.

And to think I recommended Final Destination as THE movie to watch to a friend just hours ago.

:|

That movie gives you the creeps.

Relations

Relations.

What does one make of them? Pick on any one for that matter. The bond that you have with your parents. This one’s a pretty easy one. Its not that hard. Though its upto you to maintain it well, mostly. It doesn’t require much effort. It comes naturally.

What about the relationships that you share with a person/persons outside your family members? Be it your classmates or colleagues. THIS aint easy, is it now? Compromise, adaptation, acceptance and yes, endurance is required to sustain it and keep it from crumbling.

Thanks to that very good friend of mine, I’ve been listening to this far too many times.
The video is lame.
It’s a rip off of an Amr Diab number.

But it holds a special place for me.

(I’m not going to say “It holds a special place in my heart” and make it sound all corny. But then again, maybe I just did.)

Constant

‘Cause it's a bitter sweet symphony this life... Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die. I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down... You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah. No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change, But I'm here in my mold, I am here in my mold. But I'm a million different people from one day to the next... I can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - The Verve Love that song... Though I don’t quite agree with the lyrics. Change... Is that a variable or a constant? (My math lecturer asked us this question in class, and ‘me’ answered right! :P :D ) The artist sings out that he “can’t change”. Though he might portray himself as different people everyday, his ‘mold’ ie., his style, cast, form or whatever you call it, remains the same. My good friend calls it ‘nature’ :P :D. He’d agree with the song, I guess. Agree that you can’t change a person... a person’s nature, to be precise. What ‘bout you though? Hmm? I disagree. Change is a constant. Invariable. Inevitable in some cases, depending upon the situations. Change is NOT to be confused with ‘adapt’ . The two are different. You adapt to the surroundings, the people, etc. But you change yourself, your ways, for YOUR betterment. Your imperfections are constantly being pointed out by others... forever. That is when you find the need to change. Sometimes, you recognise the flaws yourself, though this happens rarely. Think about it. You are constantly changing your ways, your views. It’s either just too easy, or too difficult to change. J It always is like that. You tend to change the way you put forth your thoughts, the way you carry yourself, the way you speak , wait, make that ‘you tend to speak more politely’, you change the way you depict yourself in front of others... Sometimes, the change isn’t triggered by anything in particular... or anyone for that matter. It just happens. Only when someone points out that change in you do you realise it’s...er... presence. Anyway, my point is that you keep changing... no matter what. Your ‘mold’ aint a ‘default setting’, buddy. :D PS – As to the first two lines of the song, I am liable to agree. :D :P