Arbit(rary) post 3

* Pretense aint a virtue.. It’s a flaw.. a slip-up.

Those were what I’d said a few months ago. But pretense at times becomes a necessity. When that happens, it becomes less of a rarity.

* I tell my Mom that I watched a movie on a transsexual on TV. The same evening I also tell her that the night before, I dreamt of witnessing a murder. She blames the movie which, FYI, I’d watched months ago. Oh, it’s Trans America, by the way.

* Ever watched the movies ‘Before sunrise’ and ‘Before sunset’? If not, go watch them.

The parrot fortune teller

Picture courtesy : Another blog
I’ve always had a split mind on fortune telling. Like, take the daily horoscopes in the newspapers or on your TataSky. If you read them at the end of the day, you tend to relate to it, irrespective of the fact that it might NOT actually be so. On the contrary, if you read it before your day starts, you will not think twice about it. Rest assured, I read the horoscopes myself.

It so happened that today after college one of my friends spotted a parrot fortune teller and brought him over to his place. The fortune teller charged 21 INR per person. My friend went ahead first. The fortune teller took the cash and coaxed the bird out of its cage. The parrot trotted over to the set of cards, kept inside open booklets, placed before him and while the teller chanted something, it took off the cards one by one and laid them down, before taking one booklet aside and going back inside the cage. As the fortune teller spoke in the local language, I had to translate it. I don’t know if what he told about my friend was completely true or otherwise, but it was quite fascinating to listen to him. One of the girls went next. The parrot picked up a card like last time. The teller informed that her fortune was so huge that he would have to use shells (kinda like the conch, I have no idea what you call it in English) and then would have to read her palm to tell her fortune. And of course, that it would cost 250 INR. My friend refused to go ahead with it.

Next went another guy. Done with translating his, I too took out the cash from my wallet thinking, ‘What the heck! Lets give it a shot.’

Now, would you know! The parrot selected a booklet with NO cards in it. The guy was like, “Your fortune is too big and complicated to tell just by this. You too have to do it with the shells.”

I, being the ever suspicious girl that I am, say “What? You said the same thing to the other girl!”.
He replies, “She got a pack with full God cards. You have NO card in yours. The fortune telling will cost you 250 Rupees. It is a good day today. Try it out”.
I refuse. “250 Rupees is too much. “
“How much are you willing to pay?”.

He sees my hesitation.
He coaxes the parrot out again, shuffles the booklets and asks it pick one up again. Surprisingly, it AGAIN picked up the same one with no cards.
“You have the look and the glow of Goddess Lakshmi in your face. (Which, I think, he said just because of my complexion.) I can see that you are interested. You want to know. You have questions you need answers for. I can see things in your left eye. Don’t say no.”

Yeah right. Play around with my psyche and expect me NOT to go ahead with it? So, there I went. Shelling out 200 INR. I took the 9 shells he offered and threw them down three times. He then took a look at my hand and started talking fortune.
I got down to listening it, while translating snippets of it to my friend who was with me.

Now, even though most of it was general, I was mighty surprised about some of the stuff he said. They were entirely true, I tell you. If you know me well, you’d know that I am NOT a girl to be fooled easily...
True, he might have just asked the parrot using a code word or something to pick a booklet with no cards so that he could draw easy cash from me, but then, what he actually told me, made me think twice about the fortune telling stuff. Certain things he said were so damn true. He spoke for about 20-30 minutes. I was listening with deliberation.

At the end of the day, do I regret spending that cash? I was saving it for something, but no. I don’t entirely regret it. It was worth it. It could be my once in a life thing with a fortune teller. You never know!

Change

Change is a constant, agreed. It is inevitable too. It is the adaptation to the change that matters and not the change itself.

I am an introvert by nature. I do not talk to people I’m not accustomed with. Even if I do have a conversation, it’ll be more of a sentence or two, either with heavy sarcasm or pure sweetness, and with full stops at the end of the sentences on either of the cases. I do NOT indulge in small talk. I find it to be futile. I’d rather sit tight and let the others think I’m a real shy person with an IQ level so low that I cant frame sentences than start off with my flow of words and make them feel intimidated. The other party’s opinion wouldn’t matter to me since I wouldn’t actually know them. On the contrary, if I do know the person well, I let myself loose.

That’s what I am. Enough said about me.

Coming back to change, I find it a little harder than most others to let go of things. Material things are the last on my list here. I get so used to one particular system that I tend to not accept the change or an up gradation of the same. I find myself to be more comfortable with what had been earlier. It always seems so less of a work with what has gone. Because after a change, you need to start all over again. There’ll be the introduction part, then the getting to know and all that. Be it a person or a group or a system itself. In short, I take more time to adapt to a change.

I’ve always felt the same way. No matter how hard I try. Though, in certain situations, it HAS been pretty easy. Like, take the example of my degree. When the course started, I was new. BUT, so was everyone. I got to establish my self and lay to myself a better and a different foundation. It helped. Or rather its still helping. It’s the little things that matter more in my case. Small changes take me a lot more time getting accustomed to than the biggies.

Then again, as I say, its all in the perception. It’s the way you comprehend things.

What say?

PPD

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Yesterday, late evening.

*Mamma sitting on the couch. Me on the floor near her.*

Me : You know what, I’m suffering from PPD. (I give my loud laughter.)

Mamma : What?

Me : PPD. Paranoid Personality Disorder. (All my 32..er.. 28 teeth are seen.)

Mamma : What is that?

Me : Well, you know, I keep thinking about the worst possible thing that could happen. I’m always expecting the worst to occur. Paranoia.

*Dad sleeping inside. I ask him next.*

Me : Do you know what PPD is?

Dad : Production Planning Department. It’s an important department in a company.

*Mamma and myself both grin.*

Me : No no! Its Paranoid Personality Disorder. I have it.

Dad : Hmmm.
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I read an article about PPD recently. I’ve always been a little on the paranoid side.

As the saying goes, ‘Hope for the best and plan for the worst’.

And to think I recommended Final Destination as THE movie to watch to a friend just hours ago.

:|

That movie gives you the creeps.

BSB

I use the FM feature in my cell phone to the fullest extent at night. Songs from the available stations continue to play right from around 2200 hours to 0700 hours the next morning. Till 0000 hours I keep changing stations. 0000 hours till 0100 hours I listen to 94.3. I later switch over to Indigo.

The night before last at around 0257 hours, I was woken up by the song ‘I still’ by BSB being played on Indigo. It had been a really long time since I’d actually heard that track from BSB’s previous album. It reminded me of my first year in college. My 1st PU.
BSB songs, the ones from the album ‘Never gone’ specifically, evoke one picture in my mind. The dark grey skies as seen from the 4th floor where our classroom back then was located. And the rain and wind too. It also brings back a kind of mood that I’ll try my best to describe here. Its something like a ‘mazed’ mind. I really am not able to elucidate it well. More like, a mystified yet at peace state of mind. Heck! I was barely 17 then! Those songs ALWAYS do bring that feeling in me. And that scene from outside our classroom. Lovely location that, you know? It was the airiest room ever. High above the rest. I miss that place.

But I still am not able to get over that response I get from myself whenever I listen to BSB.

It’s a nice feeling though.
:)

Wrath

Grey clouds roofed the vast sky. Winds at high speeds were directed in one course by the angry heavens above. The vicinity looked deserted till the horizon. No birds flew. The little vegetation present swayed silently as though there was a kind of absolute stillness in the chaotic atmosphere. The dark waters of the raging sea drew a contrast in color to the shimmering sand that bordered it. The blowing winds carried the whiff of the saline water.

The nymph stood in a graceful poise by the water such that the gushing waves thinned out at her feet. She held her hands against her chest with her fingers interlocked. Her long white gown rippled to the strong breeze, her dark hair not framing her delicate features. With her neck arched at an angle of self repose, she gazed at the thin horizon beyond the turbulent sea.

The heavy winds threatened to quaver her. The streaks of lightning and the claps of thunder fiercely promised to let the dark clouds open up. Specks of the frosty sea water cooled her fevered skin. Her brown eyes sparkled with an unusual fervor at the contemplation of what lay ahead.

She took her gaze off the waters and looked at the clouds above. The skies lit up with the increasingly continuous flashes of lightning. The winds billowed and howled. Yet she stood still, never altering her stance. Thick drops of rain water splattered on her face. The water washed away her silent tears, while a smile played on her lips.

The vicious weather swore to never cease, the sea to never let her down. And the nymph stood there for eternity.

Relations

Relations.

What does one make of them? Pick on any one for that matter. The bond that you have with your parents. This one’s a pretty easy one. Its not that hard. Though its upto you to maintain it well, mostly. It doesn’t require much effort. It comes naturally.

What about the relationships that you share with a person/persons outside your family members? Be it your classmates or colleagues. THIS aint easy, is it now? Compromise, adaptation, acceptance and yes, endurance is required to sustain it and keep it from crumbling.

Thanks to that very good friend of mine, I’ve been listening to this far too many times.
The video is lame.
It’s a rip off of an Amr Diab number.

But it holds a special place for me.

(I’m not going to say “It holds a special place in my heart” and make it sound all corny. But then again, maybe I just did.)