Today’s paper reported a suicide. “A 23 year old air hostess hanged herself on Saturday”. The paper reported that she had “everything going for her”. But she had filed an FIR with the police against her in-laws. The husband had harassed her more than once for dowry. The same story. Drunken husband, the beatings, all that.
But what struck me the most was this.
She had married her husband while she was still 18. Yes, 18. Apparently, she met him at a local mall and fell in love with him. The parents conceded after a while and the couple got happily married a few years back.
My point is this.
A mall? 18?
Tell me, do you even know what love is at that age? Sure, you’ll have your crushes and infatuations. You might like every other girl/guy. Think he/she is cute/cool/beautiful/hot/what-not. But are you ready for commitment? Oh yeah, wait, you don’t know what that word means. Try asking
I’ve seen high school kids rant about their “love”. Which standard? 8th? 9th? 10th? This reminds me of that Kannada movie where a 10th std girl was depicted falling in love with a college guy( I may be quite mistaken, check the review). The two child artists (pardon the pun) apparently romanced on screen. And if your outlook is anywhere near mine, you’ll say “Duh!”. I’ve seen my friends babble on their high school “love”. I’ve politely listened to all that for about two years now. But seriously, am like “What? Get a life!. Dud!”
Teenagers saying “I love you!” all the time, to every other person. Bah!
Those words have to mean something when you say them. Truly mean something. Its like a binding, invisible contract, if I may say so. One of my good friend in one of his short stories talks about such a bond, made with the hands. I was quite happy to note that at least someone really gives true love some value.
Mind it.
Do not assume that I have no experience on such matters of my own. I’ve had my share of crushes and more. I might have stumbled once, but I picked myself up at the right time.
8 comments:
FPB : :)
What people dont understand is love and marriage are very different.
When you both are lovers, you dont have that responsibility of the other person on you. You just take it lightly and go with the flow.
But after marriage your true worth comes out. How many of those "promises" will you be able to fulfill. and to fulfill them, the wife only has to pay in multiple ways!!!!
And to add to that, its not just young people who do that. You are forgetting that these people do it as a "family". The so called mature people, THE parents show the right path to their son. How idiotic is this?
'Course there are laws to prevent this, but again we come back to problem of facing the situation and not giving up as you mentioned in your previous post by the name "Running away, are we?"
And more power to women in this law will lead to harassment of men, as the SC has agreed that there have been too many such cases already. So, we come back again to block 1, messed up values of people!!!
Anoop :
Again, astutely put!
:)
All I was able to get was ‘blah blah blah’… :p
Okay..sorry.. :D
I mean. Why to think? (just like you had said)
We can do nothing about it.
(My sister & I had a conversation regarding the same subject; I had said ‘Hey, no one is going to remember what (mistakes?) they did @ the age of 35)
Yet, you are right. It’s a serious issue.
You know, I share similar if not the same opinion. But that is the real deal with us. Everytime, we start doing something, we for sure know that we know EXACTLY what we are doing. And the super strong self belief makes us believe that we are right and elders, as always, are conventional and stupid and they obviously don't gte us.
I think it's a part of nature's plan for most first love's are not real. We make mistakes and then learn. :)
Neha
Shailesh : You really think that one wouldnt remember?
We'll see.
Neha : Most first loves aren't real. Agreed.
But, isnt that pretty ironic as well?
reading your post i felt a sycophancic (if i may put it this way) urge to agree. but i have my contradicitons. i think its quite easy for us to promulgate every teen relationship as stupid or outright ridiculous with such non chalance. yeah its sad that cases like this aren't rare any more but generalisations hardly help in understanding these. i think, yeah we tend to mistake infatuation with love but thats how we learn and distinguish between them from our experience.
there are no tabulated differences between the two (many "women oriented" magzines would like to take issue with me on this :P), so the only way to learn is through experiences. the case that you talk about is probably more to do with the permanent suspension of conscience of the air hostess. i won't talk about it more because there may be more complexities involved. the issue at hand is how do we stop not the teens to experience "love" but to stop such extreme reactions to adverse circumstances and give them the assurance that whatever judgement that they come to will be respected by all of us and more importantly that they won't be judged on the basis of it. teens must find their own definition of love for themselves. coz thats the way it is, love shall always be in the air, you just have to breathe it in the right way. :p
DD : Experiences and mistakes are the favourite teachers of many.
But, from what I've seen, they do NOT learn their lessons well from them.
love shall always be in the air, you just have to breathe it in the right way.
:D
Right!
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