Suppressed emotions are the worst. It is usually the negative emotions that one tries to hide with the assumption that it is for the better. These negative emotions comprise of anger, rage, hatred, sadness, humiliation, and the likes. Bottling up of such emotions could prove to be dangerous, even catastrophic. People stall their feelings considering others around them. They don’t want to hurt them. They don’t want to be labeled as the bad guy. Or to put it in a layman’s words, they wouldn’t want to start a scene.
But how efficient is one in concealing his true feelings? The ways of the human mind is fascinating. Some people successfully cover up their anger or humiliation. Some even let go of such episodes, laughing it off as something silly. There are others, who let that suppressed emotion build up. They keep adding bits from here and there to it. And finally they come apart, bringing out all the irrelevant pieces of time they didn’t appreciate, which would have been long gone.
Rage and depression are the worst. These combined, will only lead to the destruction of a curious kind. Even before the tears come, you can feel the echo of the wound augmenting from the depths of your stomach. They say that, people who have a lot of patience don’t actually have it.
These emotions when let out, don’t help in relieving the pain. Rather makes one relive it.
THAT was seen written on the back of the T-shirt of a construction worker near my house. The first time I saw it, I instantly thought of writing a piece on it. Just today I saw that guy the second time with the quote on his back and here I am.
The days pass by ever so quickly when you least expect them to or when you don’t want them to. You think you have lots of time and lo! you’re already looking at your deadline.
Time flies by is an old saying. The one that I’ve mentioned here is different. The pace is seemingly unhurried. As the days pass by, you get older. You change. And so does everything around you. What happens at the end of each day anyway? Nothing. Another day commences. The previous day is no more. The same is with months and years and centuries and what not. What happens after you die? Oblivion. They say ignorance is bliss. I’d say oblivion is bliss.
The days go slow into a void. I really am NOT able to express my point of view on that confrontational quote. It’s just too awe-inspiring.
That was one of the songs we used to sing in school. A friend of mine sang the first two lines of it. I sang along with her and completed the song.
It felt really good to be reminded of my school days. I studied in a Christian missionary school. That being so, I was taught a lot of songs, carols, hymns, all that. Our school had a huge hall where we used to assemble and sing songs.
My dear Aunt tagged me. I did the tag, as you can see below, evidently. The tag is about that ‘four’ letter word. A lot of this depends on many aspects. I’ve just given general answers. My general answers, that is. Go on. Read it.
RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.
1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be? That depends. Anger and a dawning sense that I’d be better off without him, I guess. 2. What’s it that you see in an ideal partner? Ideal? As in perfect? Well, I’d see if he were a truthful and a supportive person. And of course, a ready wit and a good sense of humor is a must.
3. What, according to you, is the perfect date? Nah. Nothing as such. But if I have to opine, maybe a movie together on a lazy afternoon. No. Not the theatre.
4. Would you like to have children soon enough? Or would you wait till your mid-thirties for the first child? Mid-thirties? What the heck! I’m hardly into my twenties yet. Skip skip! PS - I have a kid sister.
5. Will you fall in love with your best friend? I’ve seen the above happening quite frequently amongst my peer group. I suppose it is a nice experience to know a person well and then be in love with them. 6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone? Either both or neither. Sorry. :| 7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love? I hate waiting. Period.
8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do? Ha! I’d never like someone who’s already booked.
9. What do you think are the foundation stones of a good relationship? The usual I guess. A strong bond of understanding between the two individuals involved and respect for each others’ space.
10. What according to you is the most beautiful thing about relationships or marriage? The emotion that there is someone out there who cares for you. That someone out there will BE there for you. Someone whom you can rely on, with out being too obvious about it. :D
11. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? Ten years? Hard to tell, at my age. 12. What’s your fear? Betrayal. And ironically, commitment itself. 13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is? A frank and witty person, with an ample amount of dry humor in her. 14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor? Single and rich sounds good. And so does being married. And being poor. :|
15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick? Ah... this reminds me of the time when my friend asked if it is possible to fall in love with two people at the same time. I forget what I replied to her. Anyway, if I do happen to fall in love with two people at the same time, I’d weigh the pros and cons of having a relationship with each of them, and then make my choice. And stick to it, mind.
16. Would you give all in a relationship? That depends on many factors. The deeper the relationship, the more you tend to commit yourself to, or “give all”.
17. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done? I’d forgive. But I’d never forget. 18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship? When you’re single, you put yourself on top of the list. When you’re in a relationship, you think of others too. And not only the one whom you are involved with. So, when you’re single, you can make your way ahead to the goal set with ease. But when you’re single, you stay happy through out. Did I answer the question? 19. Your all time favourite song. Only ONE. And why? My choice of songs keeps changing. Only one? Na.
Cartoons have, for loss of a better word, evolved, in a weird way.
I saw a small clipping of the “Power puff girls Z” just a few minutes ago... And, bleargh! Whatever happened to the three cute girls?! Or sugar, spice and everything nice? Hmmm? And Mojo Jojo looks more like a dim-witted monkey than a “villain” monkey.
It's sad, really. Richie rich seems to be one of the few cartoons which still remain the same.
My sister’s school exhibition was held today. Just a little after noon, I took her to the school. It had rained in the late morning, so we couldn’t leave earlier. Unfortunately for us, the exhibits were dismantled and the classrooms closed by the time we arrived there. My sister didn’t mind it. Now, my pre-university college is in the same campus as her school. Same building if you want me to be more specific.
Sis : Lets go upstairs. I’ll show you my computer classroom!
Me : I know where it is.
‘Course I knew. It’s on the same floor as my classroom in 2nd PU. As I climbed the stairs behind the stage, I had a rush of mixed emotions. I expected them. But I still didn’t know how to deal with them.
At the landing of the third floor, straight ahead of me was, well, the loo. But just before that is the staff room. (It’s not as bad as you think.) To my immediate left is my classroom for the 2nd year. One of the non-teaching staff was cleaning out the staff room. She comes out.
Me : Isn’t anyone here?
The cleaner : None right now. They just left.
Me : Oh. Ok. Anyone in the labs? SumanaMam?
The cleaner : Ah.. She must be there. Not sure.
I look at the newly fitted notice board on the wall. It’s filled with notices on the cricket team. Mostly. I smile.
I enter my classroom. The computer lab attendant is writing down the register numbers on the desks. I look around at the empty room. To me, it seems as if I’m actually IN it. At the moment, I’m in THAT moment. I smile again. I withdraw myself from the room.
Me : Come on. Lets go to the 4th floor.
Sis : I’ll show you my yoga class.
She runs up the stairs. I take my own time. I take the immediate right at the 4th floor landing.
Sis : Here. Come on.
She opens the second door on the right cautiously.
Sis : This is my yoga classroom!
Me : Hmmm.
I walk a few steps ahead. The most secluded spot in the college, just near my 1st year classroom. It was huge.That brought back many memories. We’d put up a bench-desk there outside. Or maybe it was already there. Saturday mornings were the best. We had classes from 12 then. Physics class. We used to arrive leisurely... sit there on that bench. Gossip. Talk. That corner was the best.
I stand there and text everyone telling them about my location. Mixed types of replies I got.
One even asked if I was pms-ing when I said I got nostalgic. :D
I walk towards the physics and chemistry lab. I stand at the center of the corridor and look ahead. Below me I can see the ground. In front of me on the third floor I can see the classrooms. Directly in my line of sight, on the other side, I can see indoor games room. I slightly look up.
The grey clouds. The wind. The light rain. JUST like how it was in those days, standing there outside our classroom.
The physics lab had a few students inside. I walk past it without looking in. My sister peeps.
Me : Don’t look inside like that!
Sis : You were asking about some teacher!
Me : Not HER!
The chemistry lab. MeeraMam is inside. So are a few students. I see that there’s no other lecturer. I walk a little ahead and stop. I can see inside of the lab. Students are working. I tuck my hands inside my jackets’ pockets and stand. The chem lab attendant comes from behind me. He recognizes me.
Him : How are you?
Me : Namskara Sir. Fine. Yourself?
*Tilts his head to his left and slightly closes his eyes. A gesture to be taken as “Everything fine here too”.
Him : How are things going for you?
Me : Great.
Him : You had come to the exhibition?
Me : Yes.
Him : Do have relatives studying here?
*I put my hand over my sisters’ shoulder and say,*
Me : Yes. My sister.
Him : Your sister? Own?
*I nod my head*
Him : Which standard?
Sis : I’m in third.
Him : Ok.
Me : Ok bye Sir.
I turn around.
*My sis spots an open door.*
Sis : That’s the terrace!
Me : Hmmm.
We climb down the stairs and reach the ground floor. I look around. I miss the place. It wasn’t much. But then again, maybe it was.
Memories. Lots of them.
The girls, the guys, the crushes, the tears, the bunking, the classes, the lecturers, the crushes again, all that. I miss it. A lot.
:)
One of my friends said, “I swear that place still haunts me in my dreams”. I second his statement.
How do you know it when you love someone? Take your parents. It’s inherent in you to love them. The same is with your siblings and the rest of the family. Your pets... You coochie-coo your dog and what-not your cat. I wouldn’t know, coz you cant coochie-coo fish. But, you say that you love your dog/cat. You speak with affection whenever you speak of it. Why? Coz its ‘Oh so cute!’, or something like that? Hmmm?
When do you realise that one particular person is special in your life? You OUGHT to watch the movies Before sunrise and Before sunset. It’s not your everyday romantic flick. Two strangers, characters named Jesse and Celine, happen to meet on a train, en route from Budapest, Hungary, to Vienna, Austria (No, it is NOT your Hollywood ‘Jab we met’. Bah!). They spend an evening together and wait till the early hours of the next morning to say good bye.
They arrive at Vienna. They walk around and see places, all the time talking and exchanging their views on life, love, friendship, people, the society, you name it. And as the day dawns, they part ways without exchanging phone numbers or any contact details, promising to meet again in exactly six months at the same place.
Cut to nine years later. Jesse Wallace is married and now a father. He’s a successful author of a book he wrote on the one night he spent with a French woman in Vienna. The opening scene is at a book store in Paris, France, where the story eventually unfolds. Celine chances upon his picture on the store calendar a month earlier and turns up at the time when he’s giving a little press conference on his book at the store. He sees her. They start walking to a café. They start talking. He learns that she’s into Green Cross, an environmental organisation. They keep talking and realise how messed up their lives are. He tells her that he feels like he’s running a small nursery with someone whom he used to date. She says that men go out with her, then break up, and then THEY get married... later call to thank her for teaching them what love is and tell her that she taught them to care and respect women. She’s frustrated. She says that the concept of ‘the love of your life’ is absurd; the idea that we can only be complete with another person is evil.
You see that, even though the elapse of time is evident, their meeting each other nine years earlier and the time they spent with each other back then is fresh in their minds. The movie shows in a subtle, yet in a beautiful way, how you can never be sure if what you decide to do in life is right... how things once you miss in life are seemingly truly gone... how beautiful sometimes the ways of life are... how you never know who the right person is. The illogicality of certain notions in life...
Wonderful movies they are. My 'aunt-recommended-movie' movies. I implore upon you to watch them. It’s a dialogue driven movie. You have to listen and understand. You tend to relate to it. You tend to draw parallels to it. The scripts for both the movies are superbly and thoughtfully written.
Jesse’s character is played by Ethan Hawke. Celine’s by Julie Delpy. Exceptional performance by them. A must watch. :)
